Mission #1: Conquer Elusive Red Thing

I asked my roommate Tony to get a picture of me stalking the pest with his Blackberry... ...which is why it's so grainy...

Mission Objective:

Capture sneaky, untrustworthy little red thing...

Background:

I've got to confess, I have no idea what it is. I googled it. Wikipedia'd it. (Oddly enough, my spell check recognized 'googled' but not wikipediad. I sense an anti-trust exhibit for Mr. Obama.)

I even asked a few of my knowledgeable friends; ok, I asked my step-sister 'Dingleberry', whom you'll meet another time, and she didn't know what it was either.

Well whatever this red dot is (and I suspect my roommates know), it's irritating as all hell. I can't explain why, but I loath it. I hate it. I detest it. Yet, I'm also compellingly drawn to it.

I know it's coming because it lives in the top drawer next to the hot glass surface and I can tell when it's coming out because it makes the unmistakable jangling sound. (Fucking hate that hot glass surface.)

My roommates, the twits they are, stand around with that morose grin they sport ever so often as I chase this parasite, this pest, around. Think they'd help? Of course not.

But it may just be that they know better than I do that this thing is damn near impossible to catch. I've had it in my grasp numerous times, but there must be some sort of trick to it because even when I get my paws on it, manages to slip out instantly. It's fucking infuriating.

If any of my minions (readers if you prefer) have any suggestions as to how I can capture this elusive little fucker, please leave a comment. If you're even remotely intelligent, I may even bother to read it. (Probably not though but since you're all after your 10 seconds of fame, why not shoot for the stars and leave a comment anyway.)

Until tomorrow then, I've got some hunting to do.