Purple Is Not The New Black!

A lot of people come over to my place to visit my roommates; a lot of those people are women. A lot of them wear these hideous purple tops. They come in all manner of styles and fabrics; loose and flowing satin/silk, tight and knitted wool or cotton. it's all irrelevant really - it just looks like shit.

And when they defend themselves and say that "Purple is the NEW black" well that nonsense just makes me want to scratch their eyes out and saute them in a pan with some olive oil and chives. (Or catnip.)

See for yourselves:

Is THAT appealling? Is THAT attractive? NO, no and Fuck No! Furthermore, it most certainly is NOT black.

Ladies, when guys see you walking down the street wearing purple they don't think "Damn, that girl is sexy!"

Do you know what they're actually thinking? They're really thinking "Damn, for some reason I'm craving a burger and fries combo!"

The reason they're thinking this is quite simple - because when you wear purple, ladies you don't look sexy, you don't even look nice - you just look like fucking Grimace.

See?