Nemesis #1: Jaybler

Name: Jaybler (aka VaJayJay aka The Jayblinator aka JayJay the Holiday Bear; Seriously, who comes up with this shit?)

Profile: He spends a lot of time here in my home - too much for my liking in fact. He plays 'the Xbox' and does a lot of strange things like arguing moot points with my roomates, saying 'indeed' as a response to serious questions and statements, and imitating that guy that my roommate Tony likes to watch on Saturdays and Sundays. (pictured below)

This is NOT the Jaybler, so he should stop pretending that it is....

Ultimately, the Jaybler is my nemesis because he's irritating; he waltzes into MY home, insults me, accuses me of plotting to maim/hurt him, which I am, but he has no evidence of that and should shut up about it until he does....

He burps, he farts, he makes faces and odd noises when he does these things - he steals my cat toys (loser) and is a general inconvenience to my life. I will be rid of him soon, oh yes, I will...

My Plan: My concerted attacks; the growls, the hissing, the swatting at his heels and even that one time I cornered him in the upstairs bathroom and he had to call my roommate Tony to convince me to let him out... ...they all seem to have worked. The fucker moved to Barrie a few weeks ago and now I only have to tolerate him on weekends.

I've managed to steal a piece of paper with his address on it and am going to rent a cab in the middle of the night, steal away to Barrie and smother him while he sleeps; or just shit on his carpet, I haven't decided yet. (I'm a cat, being vengeful is what we do.)

***Note: I've just returned from a 'special place' and will post a blog about the adventure that saw me away from my audience for such a lengthy spell. Just waiting for the photos to get developed.***